GayLifeInAmerica.com REPORTS• Lazy Bear 2004
• IML 2004, Hmm... Wicked. Decadent. Nasty
• Invasion of the Pines, God Bless America! ...
• Rainbow Flag Celebrates the Silver Anniversary
• SEE MORE REPORTS
| Invasion 2004 was off to a great start. An unusually perfect day for drag queen... low humidity, sunny, 85... still hot for pancake makeup, constricting corsets, panty hose, phony falsies, scratchy feathers, snaggy sequins, long | ||||
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lashes and head hugging wigs! But what price beauty? The participants teetered toward downtown gingerly from various queen enclaves in Cherry Grove, warned by Panzi, the Invasion's Doyenne, not to carry their high heels on the slatted wood walks until after the event, while gals everywhere were transforming into all kinds of guys from spiffy admirals to hairy Italians. Eau de cologne was in the air (if Panzi doesn't think you smell good enough you get sent back) Billie Ann Miller had a gaggle of "guys" escort her and Rose Levine, celebrating her 50th year at the Grove, picked up a group of 1854 Bathing Beauties (on walkers and canes), who claimed to be her original fans, waiting on her corner, hoping to be her entourage. The naturally tall Carmen Flamingo, sporting a 20 pound headdress ducked carefully, even taller than last year, as her sombrero caressed the telephone wires. ----------------------------------------- go to interactive gallery - photos by Brandon Ashcraft go to interactive gallery - photos by Bruce-Michael Gelbert go to interactive gallery - photos by Bill Perez go to interactive gallery - photos by Jeannie Lieberman go to interactive gallery - photos by Marco Herrera ----------------------------------------- Without Dame Edith's traditional friendly/acerbic on camera interviews there was no "center stage" at the foot of the Ice Palace and the crowd gathered, strangely structureless. Instead myriads of mini TV crews milled around, catching comments and clips as they could, as this event is gradually "coming out" to the Continent gaining fame . People were hanging out of Cherry's, up the Ice Palace ramp, crowded onto the dock and, new this year, Mother's patio (opened just in time for the occasion). Participants paraded and pranced down the dock runway to... nothing. The ferry had not yet arrived. As a filler, Mistress Sharon, the perennial patriotic bag lady, led the group in a spirited rendition of the National Anthem and I momentarily envisioned the outrageous group on the dais of the Republican Convention later this summer in NYC (not!). When the ferry finally docked incoming passengers were plunked into a phantasmagoria of colors and costumes. Panzi urged them away promising "free beer on the beach". Crews changed and the ferry was festooned with huge banners on its sides. In this heated election year, with issues so relevant to the Pines and Grove denizens, one big banner draped on the side of the ferry proclaimed this year's Invasion theme: "Going to the Chapel," which was slashed through and over it written "City Hall ", and "Just Married," with the "Just" changed to read "Almost," a response to the ban on gay marriage. Buried amidst the throng was an astonishing wedding party to be assembled on "the other side." Boarding was held up by security measures "Is there a bomb under that dress, honey? ... You bet and it's about to blow up!" Finally they were herded en masse scrambling for side rails to wave to the crowd. On the crossing a raucous bunch of Invasion's "virgin girls" flirted with a passing boat of guys shouting "Take off your shirt." The ever-useful "Drag Repair" rendered their services as needed: powder, hairspray, nail glue, lipgloss... whatever. Swell job, guys, as usual. (Now, if they only had a shop on the mainland, where a girl could go...) Shoes came off, skirts were raised and stockinged legs parted to "breathe" during the few minutes respite before the big show - the Pines' landing. After shocking private boats and passing ferries en route with its colorful passengers, the ferry, with palpable excitement on board, sailed into the Pines' harbor, with private yachts prestigiously docked there answering the ferry's toots with their own (I am the designated "tooter", an honor I cherish). Approaching the dock the crowd on board joined the crowd on land, 20 deep, in another rousing rendition of "God Bless America," with Candis Cayne, a lithesome blond, lip synching Kate Smith's immortal version as the ferry landed. Cheers went up and it was like being enveloped in surround-sound. In anticipation of Panzi's imminent arrival the crowd buzzed and the question of the day, as always, "What will Panzi wear?". This year's creation was very significant. Last year's Invasion was memorable because John Whyte, who started the whole tradition 29 years ago by refusing Panzi and a few friends access to his establishment because they violated the "No Cross Dressing" code, actually appeared on the Pines dock for the first time and offered Panzi the keys to the Pines, warning "but leave 'em here". Panzi countered at the time, "Now I know hell is freezing over! The guy who tried to kick me out is giving me the keys to the place". But the venerable John Whyte died this past year so Panzi wore black over her huge blond wig. Lest the mood become too somber as she disembarked in the Pines she shouted "I'm in mourning for John Whyte. Let's have a minute of silence," and added a second later, "That's enough! If it weren't for that bastard we wouldn't have an Invasion today," and explaining, "We're a little late because we were checking for body bombs". Joined by Empress Anne Tique and by Amelia Migliaccio, one of the event's nine founders, Panzi was off on her signature introductions of the boat's "cargo". Preceded by a militant lesbian group sporting signs "Tax us? Then marry us!" The gay marriage theme was spectacularly realized in a unique "wedding" as only the Grove could muster. (Good thing the red states weren't invited). As Charity described it, "We all came out as bridesmaids with ushers in tow. Each of us was in a color of the rainbow flag, I being in yellow as you saw. We all carried ample bouquets that were coordinated with our dress colors. We lined up for Queen Donna Piranha's entry with spouse, Roger Cortez. The Grove archbishop, in regal gown, then performed a mock wedding under a flowered arch and confetti bombs were set off, to wild applause by all the boys, a most effective display, as Donna would only have it. After all, she is the Queen... Godammit! Oh, mustn't forget Fluffy who was the flower girl with Shirley Temple curls and a basket of petals that she strewed about before we departed the ferry...so cute was she." Archishop Harold Seeley, now in his 22st year, was introduced in his celestial robes as, "He is not a lesbian". The wedding theme was now evident as Fluffy, "frozen in time," was, as noted a flower girl; Mother was the mother of the bride, escorted by Roger, the Groom; Coco, on the arm of Meryl Facterman, was described as "the bridesmaid who gets f-ed in the bathroom during the ceremony," followed by Margo and Lois McIntosh. Joan Van Ness conducted Uma Assburns, Doreen Rallo took Urban Sprawl ("finally got her away from the meat rack"), Bobbi Green squired Frankie Cocktail ("Barbie the Truckdriver"), and Joanne Tavis lent an arm to Charity ("be nice to her, she is very old"). The bride, Donna Piranha, this year's Homecoming Queen, gorgeous in a sheath of silver palettes and white veil, threw her bouquet into the crowd. The 18-member wedding party was resplendent in the colors of the Gay Pride flag. Colorful confetti was tossed into the harbor, prompting Panzi to point out, "It's biodegradable. Unfortunately, the bride is not." There were Fatal Fawcett ("the girl with the deadly drip"), Violet in violet, and the statuesque Cobra in her favorite red. The appearance of long-legged Rose Levine and her "Boy Toy," Michael Fitzgerald, inspired Panzi to quip, "You know how I know everyone's old in the Grove? They now sell Depends in the grocery store and they run out every week". About Miss Fire Island, Nikki Starr, she said, "I hate these bitches with skinny waists" and, admiring Viva Sexx's derriere, "J-Lo has nothing on our diva". Ivana Cocktail was followed by Ineeda Cocktail. There was Craven Morehead ("Those aren't seams on her stockings: she has a problem.") About the beautiful Bella: "Come and hear her show, it's the same for years, and years, and years and... she's my landlord now, she charges for hot water by the cup!" Next came Freeta Chews ("She had a beard yesterday") and Angela Mercy, 5 Cherry Grove Airlines stewardesses with smoke detectors, Patsy Cline & Barbara Bush ("if we shot her years ago we wouldn't have to deal with the prick we have this year"). The Pines' Marina DelRay in a red fireman's outfit was aboard ("Mary, look at that ass, she wore those boots so if she had to pee it would run down her leg"). We saw Miss Ann Phetermine ("great energy -are your drugs in alphabetical order?") and Baby Jane and her wheel-chaired sister, Blanche ("I'll give you money if you push her into the bay" and she later did push her into the Palace pool.) Panzi had kind words for the Groves oldest couple, Peter & Wynn, celebrating their 57th year "married". Straight from the nursing home came Billie Ann Miller ("the oldest drag queen in America - we love her dearly") and her four sailor escorts, followed by Ms. Italy ("obviously from the bottom of the boot"), and Dorothy (Joyce Rogers) & Toto (Booboo) ("You're not in Kansas anymore)". The lesbian "Sons of Italy", Al Dente, Al Capone, Al Lergy, hairy armpits and all, melded with the Hooters "Gals" from the South Shore, a match made in Grove heaven. Martha Stewart arrived behind bars with an entourage in orange prison suits from K-Mart tastefully adorned with pearls, escorted by prison guards, wielded a sign "Martha Was Framed" and elicited chants "Free Martha" from the crowd. A grown-up Annette Funicello, still sporting Mickey Mouse ears, was approached, on shore, by a doting little girl who "believed." Toni Bondi, waiting aboard for the procession to finish murmured "This is crazy! I'm melting" and promised to do her Monroe imitation at the Island Club and have the wind up her skirt. Those who return year after year know that among the most creative and clever costumes, Orangeena has always been somewhat astonishing. When I first saw her, of the orange helmet hair, she was pulling a deer on wheels covered with giant tics. Never one to disappoint, she was literally the ass end of the procession as she arrived, pregnant, riding a real live donkey (!), which boarded and left the ferry as if it were Noah's ark. By way of explanation, she said, "Well, I kind of think of it as the ... Passion Of ORANGEENA.' Ogee's not been with anyone in almost a year, bummer, so I don't know exactly know how it happened. And no, I don't remember anyone whispering in my ear. I'm sure you will agree it is truly a miracle. I am in my 4th Trimester, 13 months, and ready to be over with this. And I thought it would be great to have Giorgio, my donkey, join me as my feet tend to swell a lot lately." She graciously added, "I do have to give a shout out to the community who made this years Invasion possible for Giorgio. He said he had never seen anything like it. It was truly a team effort. From Panzi and crew, to Kenny Stein, the Ferry Owner, to Chateau Stables, it was truly a coordinated group effort, carefully planned out, with safety as the highest priority for all involved, starting with Giorgio. I also appreciated hearing from concerned viewers about Giorgio. He is probably one of the most famous professional show biz animals in the Metro area, and was lovingly looked after by two trained professionals from Chateau Stables. From 'Don Giovanni' at the Met, to Mayor Bloomberg, Giorgio is a star and sweetheart!" The revelers and the revelees reveled at the Island Club, where free drinks incited the already hot crowd. Connie Francis handed out roses with regality. They all raced back at ferry's toot to parade once again at the Palace pool. In the words of the Queen Donna, "I HAD A BALL! Considering that you only get one shot at bringing the boat into the Pines, I really wanted to make a BIG entrance. At the same time, I didn't just want to walk off the boat in a dress. So, I chose to make somewhat of a political statement, support gay marriage, and yet keep the fun of the invasion intact. I hope I pulled it off! DJ Luke, Ron McKenna, Ken Stein and Panzi were absolutely fabulous and supported anything I wanted to do ... from playing 'Going to the Chapel,' when we got off the boat, to shooting the confetti all over the harbor, to hanging our banners off the ferry ... and even letting me get off the boat first (which is a first!). It was truly my honor to be in the lead of such a fantastic (but hot) day!" ....and it was truly my honor to cover such a prestigious, pretty and provocative event. Long Live the Queen! Long Live the Invasion!!! ----------------------------------------- go to interactive gallery - photos by Brandon Ashcraft go to interactive gallery - photos by Bruce-Michael Gelbert go to interactive gallery - photos by Bill Perez go to interactive gallery - photos by Jeannie Lieberman go to interactive gallery - photos by Marco Herrera ----------------------------------------- Jeanne Lieberman is editor/senior reviewer of THEATERSCENE.NET |
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